🔗 Share this article

This period represents a full decade since the term “vanishing” hit the public consciousness. At the time, the idea that someone could abruptly cease all contact with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the peak of indignity. Our innocence was charming. In the 10 years since, navigating toward a partner has only become more bewildering – an frequently unsuccessful pursuit in awkwardness that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media lingo.

Generation Z, a cohort who matured during a social isolation epidemic, a male identity reckoning, and a concerted assault on the rights of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex terrain than their millennial forerunners could ever fathom. And so their dating vocabulary has grown longer and more bizarre, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” pushing the limits of your sanity.

Below is a detailed guide to the words Zoomers is using to navigate romance, sex and the pursuit of both. To echo one of the year’s most popular online sayings, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

---

A

Authenticity – In the view of Zoomers, romance's ideal is showing up as your true, unfiltered self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A online phenomenon connected to a test developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your partner’s reply is engaged or disinterested. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s response to the “manic pixie dream girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while oozing mystery and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Support test – This signifies going for someone who supports you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a chair for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A date where two people connect while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained twentysomethings do budget-friendly dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Crashing out – Melting down when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or breakup, venting all of your unreciprocated feelings.

The Letter D

DINK – Double income, no kids. Once a signifier of 80s young urban professional affluence, it refers to couples who choose against having children to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of being guarded: embracing dialogue, honesty and openness.

F

Flags

• Danger signals – Personal habits suggesting a potential partner is bad news. Examples include calling their exes crazy, poor gratuity habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a nascent DJ career …
• Good indicators – These actions validate your decision to date a partner. Such as following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, low phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These typically describe niche, largely harmless quirks. Such as being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still carrying around a biro in their bag, paying rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you meet someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the WWII or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who hates the same things or individuals that you do (few things creates intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

G

Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend listens to.

Zombie-ing – Someone who reappears into your life after a period of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon partner who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online community of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally postponing climax so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An ideal promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and happily home-oriented, who apparently has no goals of her own aside from pleasing her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Random and frequently trivial repulsions that instantly shut down any sense of attraction.

“He would if he cared" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an incredibly sweet display.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in fields they believe are being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has been around for 16 million years. But the era of locking lips may be numbered since some gen Z desire fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance authentic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {